Today is a remarkable day. I received the word from my orthopedic surgeon for “no restrictions!” I am six weeks and two days post surgery. I broke my ankle in three places only six weeks ago. I have two plates and nine screws in my ankle yet today I put on two shoes and walked out of my appointment with NO PAIN.
How the heck did that happen? It seems unreal. The doctor was beyond surprised. He said, “you are ahead of the game!” I am just sitting here at home and crying. I am overwhelmed by the miraculous and speedy healing my body underwent. I keep wanting to say, “I am shocked” but I am not really surprised. I am grateful. I am joyful. I am forever changed.
Remember all those time you drank too much, or stayed out too late or insert bad decision? Remember the regret the next day, the promises you made to yourself? The declarations of change you firmly believed only to see yourself back in that spot days, weeks or years later.
I spent the last six weeks in that space. I felt rocked physically and emotionally. I saw my life halted and I felt the heaviness of reflection in my heart. I made declarations of change, I re-evaluated my time spent, I mulled over relationships and dissected my attachment to things. At the end, I felt like I had come home for the first time. I felt fulfilled. I found a deeper sense of my true self and a higher respect for honoring that person. I am forever changed.
As I sat in my room, alone, blasting Hillsong’s new album “There Is More”, tears pouring out of my eyes, I heard a voice in my head say, “you’re never going back.” And so I want to clearly and abundantly profess that truth. I want everyone to know that I AM NEVER GOING BACK! I refuse to give in to my old life, full of busyness and distractions. I will not neglect myself and put my happiness at the bottom of the list. I will not exhaust every muscle in my body to prove something to someone. I will not succumb to the expectations of others. I will not forget this experience. This will not become a distant memory. My feelings through this, the revelation of my value, the friendships that matter, I will not let slip from my memory.
I am forever changed.