I know it’s inevitable. Every day, every moment, something is shifting. As a massage therapist, one of my biggest things is, “there isn’t stagnation.” Our bodies are always progressing or digressing, our lives are always ebbing and flowing, the seasons, the minutes in a day, the sunlight, all constantly moving.
I’ve found it to be true, that even the smallest of changes can create really huge emotions. For instance, when someone tells you dinner plans changed, sometimes you’re super pissed, angry, betrayed, let down, sad, disappointed, you name it. Super small things can really feel hard sometimes even though we can logically see that it’s not such a big deal. I’ve definitely found myself in a puddle of angry tears over some pretty minuscule stuff before.
I guess it should come as no surprise that I’m in a huge season of mourning and loss all jumbled up with excitement and anticipation. After years of dreaming, it is official: we are moving across the country.
I never felt at peace about leaving Ohio until now. I always found reasons to stay. I wanted our debt to be gone. I didn’t want to have to rebuild my business. I couldn’t bear to leave my family or friends. I kept thinking a move would happen far in the future or possibly never at all. Deep down I wanted to stay in Ohio, with my comfort and dependable life forever while also yearning for mountains and adventures every moment.
Leaving people and a life feels so permanent but if I have learned anything in these past four years, it’s that nothing is permanent, don’t cling too tightly to any space or tangible thing. When we moved into our apartment a year ago, we settled in expecting to live there for 3-4 years. I couldn’t have imagined a move across the country, leaving my business behind, totally switching gears and being a stay at home dog mom.
I believe this is the right decision even though my heart wishes it wasn’t. I know that it is time to embark on a new adventure, one where my husband and I get to grow closer and expand our influence. I know this will be a good thing for our family and I trust that the outcome of this is even greater than anything I can fathom.